perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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