There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
