Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
