I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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