I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
