dude i'm inner monologue high
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
