so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
