I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize