Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can't turn off my feet"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
