His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
