Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize