Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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