He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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