he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
