finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
