Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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