Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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