the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didn't notice because vodka
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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