i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
