i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
