Umm I'm too high to move.
too bad you live with your parents still
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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