ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
