it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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