i already hear my dad disowning me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
