Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just googled if crying burns calories
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
