He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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