if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
