none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
