I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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