curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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