hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
