Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
porn star boner night. come get it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
