Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize