I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
