Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
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