the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
