In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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