that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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