i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
