clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
