member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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