I wanna passion pit in your ass
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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