Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
