I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize