people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
