He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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