bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
