I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
