Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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