...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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