I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
