Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
should my penis look like a turkey
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
