Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
