He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
