My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
