You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
