Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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