my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
