I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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