i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
