My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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