Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she peed on how many people?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
