Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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