Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
