Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
