I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
