Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
