i jhust puked up my retainher.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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