So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
how drunk are you?
Several
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
