I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
