My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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