brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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