I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
